What is the root cause of defensiveness?

The Causes of Defensiveness People react defensively because they anticipate or perceive a threat in their environment, not usually because they’re just wanting to be difficult. Unfortunately, defensive behavior creates a reciprocal cycle.

How do I bring my guard down?

Ways To Let Your Guard Down

1. Communicate your needs openly.
2. Talk about your values and passions.
3. Try revealing your fears.
4. Be a good listener.
5. Love yourself first.
6. Accept and validate your emotions.
7. Learn to let the past go.

What causes a defensive personality?

Summary: Research has shown that defensiveness in response to wrongdoing is exacerbated by making the wrong doer feel like they’re an outcast. Defensive behaviours are common responses when people feel personally attacked but can undermine our ability to identify problems and find solutions.

How do you fix defensive behavior?

Here are 6 strategies to manage your defensive impulses:

1. Know your triggers and anticipate them.
2. Give it a name.
3. Assume good intentions.
4. Don’t take it personally.
5. Adopt a growth mindset.
6. Exercise self-compassion.

How do I stop being so defensive in a relationship?

How To Stop Being Defensive with John Gottman’s Antidode to Defensiveness

1. Listen to the truth within the criticism.
2. Reach beyond the negativity and attempt to give the benefit of the doubt.
3. Validate your partner’s perception (even if you disagree)
4. Tell your partner what you agree with.

Why is it so hard for me to let my guard down?

Letting your guard down means that you’re unafraid to feel your emotions and be who you are, no matter the pain it brings. If you specifically have difficulty being transparent and vulnerable to others, letting your guard down will be far from easy. In fact, it may be the most challenging thing you’re ever going to do.

How do you put your guard up in a relationship?

7 Ways To Protect Yourself In A New Relationship

1. Try Not To Plan Too Far Ahead.
2. Take What He/She Says At Face Value.
3. Stay Away From Romanticizing The Situation.
4. Share What You Feel Comfortable Sharing And What He/She Will Feel Comfortable Hearing.
5. Don’t Be Afraid To Say No.
6. Don’t Neglect The Other Things You Love.

How do you defuse a defensive person?

Here are some tips for effectively managing an individual’s emotional reaction and defusing their defensiveness in the moment.

1. Notice Behavior.
2. Remain Calm.
3. Use a reflecting statement.
4. Follow with a question.
5. Ask questions.
6. Do something physical.
7. Get the person to tell their story.
8. Identify what they value.